Breaking Up (Online or Not) :: essays research papers

How to Break-Up (Online or Otherwise)In the last year, I have watched the fallout from a number of relationships and break-ups take over the air boards. These problems have caused hurt feelings, have ended friendships, and have come to demand dozens of people (through bulletin boards, email, and other electronica) who have no individual(prenominal) stake in the outcome. The emotional devastation these poorly handled situations bring is entirely unnecessary, and prompted the following. The following is not scientific fact it is based on my feature observations, the experiences of my friends (male and female straight, gay, and bi) and family, and a lot of tired, commercial popular psychology. That doesnt, however, mean that its disadvantageously advice.sanctimony1. Do it in person. If this is an online relationship, it may not be possible. That doesnt give you an assuage to send a Dear John/Jane e-mail. Get as dear to in-person as you mountain, given the limitations of space and time. Call on the telephone set if you must, go over if you can. But NEVER break up with an answer machine, an e-mail account, or a public forum. You and your ex both deserve better if this relationship ever meant anything to you, it needs closure. If it didnt, you have no objurgate to take that out on them by make doing them callously its not your exs gap that you dont love them anymore. You are not "off the hook," you still have to treat them like a real person, with actual feelings. 2. Be honest, and do it in front youre so upset that you cant be reasonable. If youre having problems, that doesnt necessarily mean that your partner jazzs to the highest degree them or understands what they can do to help. Take the time to let them know whats bothering you. If your partner really cares about you, chances are some compromise can be reached, or they will at least try to reference the behaviors that make you crazy. If its unsalvagable, at least show them enough resp ect to end things finally, and with dignity. Dont say you want to be "friends" if what you really mean is "drop dead, you jerk." Theres a big difference between letting someone down low-cal and leaving them hanging, emotionally manipulating them to serve your own ego needs. Be clear, concise, and as reasonable and respectful as possible. This isnt easy for anyone, and your ex deserves, at minimum, as much truth as you can give without being heavy-handed and/or hurtful.