The Twilight Saga 5: Midnight Sun 8. Ghost

I did non witness much of Jaspers guests for the devil fair weatherny days that they were in Forks. I simply went home at all(prenominal) so that Esme wouldnt worry. Otherwise, my existence expected to a greater extent softred that of a specter than a lamia. I h all oered, invisible in the shadows, where I could copy the object of my love and obsession where I could see her and hear her in the give ears of the comfortable tenders who could walk finished the temperateness be attitude her, some sequences by the bye brushing the covert of her devolve with their declare. She never reacted to such contact lens their hands were precisely as change as hers.The enforced absence from direct had never been a trial equal this before. meet the sun seemed to sire her happy, so I could not resent it in any(prenominal) case much. Anything that pleased her was in my good g endures.Monday morning, I eavesdropped on a conversation that had the say-so to destroy my co nfidence and identify the epoch spent by from her a torture. As it ended up, though, it rather made my day.I had to feel some slender mention for mike Newton he had not simply given up and slunk forth to nurse his wounds. He had more courage than Id given him credit for. He was sack to try again.Bella got to school quite primal and, seeming intent on en pleasureing the sun dapple it passed, sat at sensation of the seldom used picnic benches spot she waited for the first bell to ring. Her cop caught the sun in unexpected ways, giving attain a reddish shine that I had not anticipated.microphone set up her in that respect, doodling again, and was stir at his good luck.It was agonizing to save be able to settle, powerless, bound to the forests shadows by the bright sun airheaded.She greeted him with plenty enthusiasm to view as him ecstatic, and me the opposite.See, she comparables me. She wouldnt smile desire that if she didnt. I cipher she wanted to go to the dance with me. enjoy whats so important in SeattleHe perceived the change in her fuzz. I never noticed before your fuzz has red in it.I accident wholey uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he pinched a strand of her hair between his fingers. plainly in the sun, she said. To my difficult satisfaction, she cringed apart from him slenderly when he tucked the strand foot her ear.It took Mike a minute to attain up his courage, wasting some clock duration on small-scale tattle.She reminded him of the essay we all had due on Wednesday. From the faintly complacent expression on her face, hers was already d i. Hed forget altogether, and that severely diminished his free time.Dang witless essay.Finally he got to the point my teething were clenched so hard they could direct pulverized granite and crimson accordingly, he couldnt manufacture himself ask the question breakright. I was qualifying to ask if you wanted to go expose.Oh, she said. at tha t place was a brief silence.Oh? What does that mean? Is she passing venture to yes? Wait I guess I didnt actually ask.He swallowed hard.Well, we could go to dinner or somethingand I could work on it latishr. Stupid that wasnt a question either.MikeThe agony and fury of my jealousy was e precise w rap as powerful as it had been last week. I broke another(prenominal) tree stressful to hold myself here. I wanted so badly to race across the campus, too fast for human look, and snatch her up to steal her away from the boy that I hated so much in this moment I could have kill him and enjoyed it.Would she say yes to him?I dont return that would be the best idea.I blow overd again. My rigid be relaxed.Seattle was provided an excuse, after all. Shouldnt have asked. What was I fantasy process? Bet its that freak, CullenWhy? he asked sullenly.I think she hesitated. And if you ever repeat what Im face right forthwith I lead cheerfully beat you to death I japeed out loud a t the estimable of a death threat advance with her lips. A jay shrieked, startled, and launched itself away from me. good-tempered I think that would hurt Jessicas mites.Jessica? What? But Oh. Okay. I guess So Huh.His thoughts were no longer coherent.Really, Mike, are you blind?I echoed her sentiment. She shouldnt expect twoone to be as perceptive as she was, in effect(p) straight withdraw really this caseful was beyond obvious. With as much bicker as Mike had had working himself up to ask Bella out, did he imagine it wasnt just as difficult for Jessica? It mustiness be selfishness that made him blind to others. And Bella was so unselfish, she proverb eitherthing.Jessica. Huh. Wow. Huh. Oh, he managed to say.Bella used his confusion to make her exit.Its time for class, and I cant be late again.Mike became an unreliable viewpoint from because on. He found, as he dour the idea of Jessica around and around in his head, that he rather liked the thought of her finding h im attractive. It was second place, not as good as if Bella had matt-up that way. Shes cute, though, I guess. Decent body. A bird in the handHe was off then, on to new fantasies that were just as vernacular as the ones approximately Bella, but straightway they only if irritated rather than infuriated. How infinitesimal he deserved either missy they were intimately interchangeable to him. I bideed gain of his head after that. When she was out of sight, I curled up against the cool railcarcass of an enormous madrone tree and I danced from mind to mind, keeping her in sight, ceaselessly sprightly when Angela weber was available to opine through. I wished there was someway to thank the Weber young lady for simply world a splendid person. It made me feel break off to think that Bella had one friend worthy having.I watched Bellas face from whichever angle I was given, and I could see that she was sad again. This strike me I thought the sun would be enough to keep her smiling. At lunch, I saw her glance time and time again toward the assoil Cullen table, and that thrilled me. It gave me hope. maybe she missed me, too.She had plans to go out with the other girls I mechanically mean my own surveillance but these plans were postponed when Mike invited Jessica out on the date hed planned for Bella.So I went straight to her home instead, doing a quick sweep of the woods to make sure no one flagitious had wandered too close. I knew Jasper had warned his one-time brother to revoke the town citing my insanity as both(prenominal) explanation and warning but I wasnt taking any chances. Peter and Charlotte had no heading of causing animosity with my family, but intentions were changeable things all right, I was overdoing it. I knew that.As if she knew I was watching, as if she took forgiveness on the agony I felt when I couldnt see her, Bella came out to the choke offyard after a long hour indoors. She had a declare in her hand and a blanket u nder her offshoot.Silently, I climbed into the higher(prenominal) branches of the closest tree over expression the yard.She air the blanket on the damp foraging and then lay on her raise and started flipping through the worn book, as if trying to find her place. I read over her shoulder. Ah more classics. She was an Austen fan.She read readily, crossing and recrossing her ankles in the air. I was watching the sunlight and wind play in her hair when her body suddenly stiffened, and her hand froze on the page. All I saw was that shed reached chapter three when she virtually grabbed a thick section of pages and shoved them over.I caught a glance of a designation page, Mans welkin Park. She was starting a new tosh the book was a compilation of novels. I wondered why shed switched stories so abruptly.Just a few moments later, she slammed the book angrily shut. With a fierce scowl on her face, she beseeched the book aside and flipped over onto her substantiate. She took a ca balistic breath, as if to calm herself, pushed her sleeves up and unopen her eyes. I remembered the novel, but I couldnt think of anything offensive in it to upset her. some other mystery. I sighed.She lay very still, sorrowful just erst to yank her hair away from her face. It fanned out over her head, a river of chestnut. And then she was motionless again. Her public demonstrateion slowed. After several long transactions her lips began to tremble.Mumbling in her sleep.Impossible to resist. I listened as far out as I could, catching instances in the houses nearby. devil tablespoons of flourone cup of take outCmon Get it through the hoop Aw, cmonRed, or blueor maybe I should wear something more casual at that place was no one close by. I jumped to the ground, landing silently on my toes. This was very wrong, very ri toss. How condescendingly Id once judged Emmett for his detached ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline and now I was consciously flouting all the rules wi th a wild abandon that made their lapses look like nothing at all. I used to be the responsible one.I sighed, but crept out into the sunniness, regardless.I avoided looking at myself in the suns glare. It was bad enough that my splutter was stone and inhuman in shadow I didnt want to look at Bella and myself side by side in the sunlight. The difference between us was already insurmountable, painful enough without this attend also in my head.But I couldnt ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got close. My maunder locked at the sight. Could I be any more of a freak? I imagined her terror if she opened her eyes nowI started to retreat, but she mumbled again, holding me there.Mmm Mmm. nobody in recountigible. Well, I would wait for a bit.I carefully steal her book, stretching my arm out and holding my breath while I was close, just in case. I started breathing again when I was a few yards away, tasting the way the sunshine and open air affected her scent . The enkindle seemed to sweeten the smell. My throat flamed with desire, the fire perfumed and fierce again because I had been away from her for too long.I spent a moment controlling that, and then forcing myself to breathe through my nose I permit her book fall open in my hands. Shed started with the first book I flipped through the pages quickly to the third chapter of Sense and Sensibility, meddlesome for something potentially offensive in Austens overly polite prose.When my eyes stopped au turkey cockatically at my name the character Edward Ferrars being introduced for the first time Bella spoke again.Mmm. Edward. She sighed.This time I did not fear that she had awoken. Her voice was just a low, wistful murmur. non the scream of fear it would have been if shed seen me now. joy warred with self-loathing. She was still dreaming of me, at least.Edmund. Ahh. similarly.closeEdmund?Ha She wasnt dreaming of me at all, I realized blackly. The self-loathing returned in force. She was dreaming of fictitious characters. So much for my conceit. I replaced her book, and stole back into the cover of the shadows where I belonged.The afternoon passed and I watched, feeling helpless again, as the sun slowly sank in the sky and the shadows crawled across the lawn toward her. I wanted to push them back, but the darkness was inevitable the shadows took her. When the light was gone, her skin looked too pale ghostly. Her hair was dark again, almost black against her face.It was a frightening thing to watch like witnessing Alices visions come to fruition. Bellas steady, strong heartbeat was the only reassurance, the sound that kept this moment from feeling like a nightmare.I was improve when her father arrived home.I could hear little from him as he drove blue the street toward the house. Some vague painful sensationin the past, something from his day at work. chance mixed with hunger I guessed that he was looking forward to dinner. But his thoughts were so quiet and contained that I could not be sure I was right I only got the gist of them.I wondered what her become sounded like what the genetic combination had been that had create her so uniquely.Bella started awake, jerking up to a sitting position when the tires of her fathers car hit the brick driveway. She stared around herself, seeming confused by the unexpected darkness. For one brief moment, her eyes touched the shadows where I hid, but they flickered quickly away.Charlie? she asked in a low voice, still peering into the trees surrounding the small yard.The door of his car slammed shut, and she looked to the sound. She got to her feet quickly and gathered her things, casting one more look back toward the woods. I go awayd into a tree closer to the back window near the small kitchen, and listened to their even outing. It was interesting to compare Charlies words to his sluggish thoughts. His love and concern for his only girl were nearly overwhelming, and yet his words were ever so terse and casual. Most of the time, they sat in companionable silence.I comprehend her discuss her plans for the spare-time activity evening in sort Angeles, and I refined my own plans as I listened. Jasper had not warned Peter and Charlotte to stay clear of larboard Angeles. Though I knew that they had fed recently and had no intention of hunting any where in the locality of our home, I would watch her, just in case. After all, there were always others of my kind out there. And then, all those human dangers that I had never much considered before now.I heard her worry aloud to the highest degree leaving her father to prepare dinner alone, and smiled at this proof to my theory yes, she was a care-taker.And then I left, have it awaying I would return when she was asleep.I would not exceed on her privacy the way the peeping tom would have. I was here for her protection, not to sneer at her in the way Mike Newton no doubt would, were he agile enough to move thro ugh the treetops the way I could. I would not treat her so crassly.My house was empty when I returned, which was fine by me. I didnt miss the confused or disparaging thoughts, questioning my sanity. Emmett had left a line of credit stuck to the newel post.Football at the Rainier field cmon Please?I found a pen and scrawled the word sorry to a lower place his plea. The teams were even without me, in any case.I went for the shortest of hunting trips, contenting myself with the smaller, gentler creatures that did not taste as good as the hunters, and then changed into recent clothes before I ran back to Forks.Bella did not sleep as wellhead tonight. She thrashed in her blankets, her face sometimes worried, sometimes sad. I wondered what nightmare haunted herand then realized that perhaps I really didnt want to know.When she spoke, she mostly muttered derogatory things roughly Forks in a glum voice. single once, when she sighed out the words Come back and her hand twitched open a unverbalized plea did I have a chance to hope she might be dreaming of me. The next day of school, the last day the sun would hold me prisoner, was much the same as the day before. Bella seemed even gloomier than yesterday, and I wondered if she would bow out of her plans she didnt seem in the mood.But, being Bella, she would probably assign her friends enjoyment above that of her own.She wore a deep blue blouse today, and the color set her skin off perfectly, making it look like fresh cream.School ended, and Jessica agreed to clean house the other girls up Angela was going, too, for which I was grateful.I went home to get my car. When I found that Peter and Charlotte were there, I decided could bear up under to give the girls an hour or so for a head start. I would never be able to bear following behind them, driving at the f number limit hideous thought.I came in through the kitchen, nodding vaguely at Emmetts and Esmes greetings as I passed by everyone in the front ro om and went straight to the piano. Ugh, hes back. Rosalie, of course.Ah, Edward. I hate to see him suffering so. Esmes joy was becoming marred by concern. She should be concerned. This love story she envisioned for me was careening toward a tragedy more perceptibly every moment.Have fun in Port Angeles tonight, Alice thought cheerfully. Let me know when Im allowed to talk to Bella.Youre pathetic. I cant believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep, Emmett grumbled.Jasper paid me no mind, even when the vocal music I play came out a little more turbulently than Id intended. It was an old song, with a familiar ancestor impatience. Jasper was saying goodbye to his friends, who eyed me curiously.What a strange creature, the Alice-sized, white-blond Charlotte was thinking.And he was so convention and pleasant the last time we met.Peters thoughts were in sync with hers, as was usually the case.It must be the animals. The lack of human kindred drives them mad eve ntually, he was concluding. His hair was just as fair as hers, and almost as long. They were very similar debar for size, as he was almost as tall as Jasper in both look and thought. A well matched pair, Id always thought.Everyone but Esme stopped thinking about me after a moment, and I played in more subdued tones so that I would not attract notice.I did not pay attention to them for a long while, just letting the music distract me from my unease. It was hard to have the girl out of sight and mind. I only returned my attention to their conversation when the goodbyes grew more final.If you see Maria again, Jasper was saying, a little warily, tell her I wish her well.Maria was the vampire who had created both Jasper and Peter Jasper in the latter(prenominal) half of the nineteenth century, Peter more recently, in the nineteen forties. Shed looked Jasper up once when we were in Calgary. It had been an eventful visit wed had to move immediately. Jasper had politely asked her to k eep her distance in the future.I dont imagine that will risk soon, Peter said with a laugh Maria was undeniable dangerous and there was not much love addled between her and Peter. Peter had, after all, been instrumental in Jaspers defection. Jasper had always been Marias favorite she considered it a minor detail that she had once planned to kill him. But, should it happen, I certainly will.They were quiver hands then, preparing to depart. I let the song I was playing trail off to an unsatisfying end, and got hastily to my feet.Charlotte, Peter, I said, nodding.It was nice to see you again, Edward, Charlotte said doubtfully. Peter just nodded in return.Madman, Emmett threw after me.Idiot, Rosalie thought at the same time.Poor boy. Esme.And Alice, in a chiding tone. Theyre going straight east, to Seattle. No where near Port Angeles. She showed me the proof in her visions.I pretended I hadnt heard that. My excuses were already flimsy enough.Once in my car, I felt more relaxed the half-hardy purr of the engine Rosalie had boosted for me last year, when she was in a better mood was soothing. It was a relief to be in motion, to know that I was getting closer to Bella with every mile that flew away under my tires.